A Divorce Ritual Facilitates Closure and Healing
Marriage is a ritual that celebrates the love and devotion of two people who wish to share their lives, intentions, and dreams. When the marriage fails to represent the life that one or both spouses intended to experience, couples may decide to divorce. However, society does not offer a divorce ritual. The notion of performing a ritual for divorce might sound strange, but its healing power is worth exploring.
A divorce ritual not only symbolizes the ending of a marriage, but it also supports the process of inner transformation and the healing of wounds that may have accumulated during the marriage. Its main purpose is to cleanse the participant from any pain and negative emotions towards their former spouse. Moving through a divorce with awareness, self-love, gentleness, and intention to heal can bring forth empowerment, inner growth, and self-discovery. A divorce ritual contains elements that support the process of creating a sense of closure with the past and ensure the release of any leftover emotional-energetic attachments that would interfere with our capacity to be happy.
Cleanse & Heal: When a marriage comes to an end it is essential to identify and release any heavy, painful emotions that we have harbored in our hearts and bodies towards our spouse. Any emotions of anger, resentment, and hatred, as well as issues with trust and intimacy, require the space and time to be processed and healed. If we ignore these emotions and enter a new relationship, it may inherit all the baggage of unresolved emotional issues from the past. Unhealed wounds tend to attract situations that reignite the essence of the wound. However, when the wounds that were exposed or created in the marriage are healed, they will either not show up in the next relationship or have a less damaging impact.
Grieve: Divorce signifies the end of a marriage bond and it can be hard to let go of the idea that what we dreamt of did not come true or did not last. In the divorce ritual, we release and heal painful experiences and also intentionally let go of the pleasant and loving memories. Otherwise, our attachment to re-experiencing them will keep us tied to the past. It is beneficial to spend some time remembering the joyful and heartwarming moments with the former spouse, allowing ourselves to feel the sadness that arises. It is essential to let the heart grieve the loss, and then purposely and with gratitude let go of the memories.
Transform: Once the heart has expressed intense emotions and feels more peaceful, we are ready to reflect back upon the marriage with an awareness that does not judge who was wrong or right but is eager to extract wisdom, expand self-knowledge and grow from the experience. Relationships, especially intimate ones, are the perfect space for us to get in touch with our fears, insecurities, limiting beliefs, and childhood wounds since they often reveal themselves in our interactions with loved ones.
When we explore the diverse experiences of our marriage with an unbiased awareness, trying to identify what beliefs and fears stood behind our perceptions, reactions, and behavior, we are able to uncover their true source. This process is not about blaming on ourselves for anything painful or dysfunctional that was present in the marriage, rather it is about connecting with and healing the parts of ourselves that allowed and participated in these situations.
Through the healing process, we experience transformation. It becomes easier to voice our inner truth with compassion and understanding. Certain things that were acceptable and tolerable in the past become unacceptable. This transformation inspires us to create a new way of being in the world and in relationships with others, filled with deeper self-love and acceptance.
The divorce ritual is a powerful process that allows us to bring closure to a marriage while cleansing and healing anything that might hinder our happiness and future fulfillment of our desires.